There was a guy who went to this small rural area, and he saw a river in front of him. And there’s no boat or anything. So, he wondered if he could drive his motorcycle across because he didn’t know how deep it is. So, he saw a couple of children playing around there. He said, “Hey kids, tell me, how deep is the water?” So, the kid said, “Oh, not deep. I reckon I could walk through it, no problem.” So, the motorcyclist just vroom, drrun, drrun, and drove through. In the middle of the river, he was up to here and… gasping for air and struggling to swim, and lost his motorcycle. He struggled to swim in the river but managed to save himself. So he was gasping for breath and scolded the kid, “Why did you tell me that the water is not too deep and that you could even walk across it? You almost killed me, you know that?” So, the kid said, scratching his head, “It’s funny, when the duck was swimming there, it’s only up to his wings.”
This one I didn’t look at, so maybe next time. OK, guys, see you later, and have a nice trip home. Have some more (vegan) candy of course. Oh, OK. These are some jokes that I… that I made, but in case. This joke I like very much, and I told them already, the residents. But I made up the end, a different ending, so we make it become a second joke, a different joke, and… Because lately – it’s a joke, huh – because recently there’s so many reports in the newspaper about airplane crashes and people dying and all that, it’s very unreliable. So the scientists and the aviation company was cracking their heads to try to make a new airplane, which has no need for manpower, just all completely automatic and electronic, with computer voice and all that. So there was the first one ever made, and everybody was so excited. So, the first batch of passengers came up for the first time, guests of honor and all, and they came up. And then, everything was done and the doors closed and they’re taking off.
In mid-air already, and they hear the voice telling them from the loudspeaker somewhere saying, “Dear valued customers, gentlemen and ladies, welcome to the first ever electronically-controlled airplane. We are forever done with the man-controlled aircraft, because this is electronically piloted. So you will be safe and secure. So just fasten your seat belt, sit back and enjoy your trip, because this is all electronically controlled. So there will be nothing that can ever go wrong, go wrong, go wrong, go wrong, go wrong…” And then of course, everybody’s panicking and climbing, trying to find the way to get out, and then there comes a calm voice – they have a backup system – was a calm, very calm and cool and collected voice saying, “Ladies and gentlemen, sit back. There’s nowhere to go, but here and now…” Zen stuff. “…Please repeat after me: Our Father in Heaven…” That’s the ending that I made up. OK, that’s the last one. “Nothing can go wrong.” But if you practice the Quan Yin Method (meditation on the inner Heavenly Light and Sound), nothing can really go wrong. And that’s true.
Anybody has (vegan) candy already? Can do with some more. (Yes.) OK, just take one or two. For fun. It is the rain with blessing, blessing rain of (vegan) candy. Just one is enough. You can mix it with a big bag and eat forever, get fat, and don’t blame me. You take a lot and you get fat; you don’t blame me. OK? Alright. Thanks a lot for being here and being good kids. Good kids. Have a nice trip, guys. (Yes.) I love you. Very much. Take that for me for a while. You still here? By the way, because they are going, you also get some. Here. Just to refresh yourselves after meditation. You don’t want. No. I’m sorry. Sorry to offend. I go to the male… They didn’t want it, sorry. Today is not a competition. (For some.) Take a lot and get fat. OK. Alright. I don’t want to work no more, you shouldn’t have brought this. OK. OK. Alright. Here. Oh! (Thank You Master, we love You.) We thank you.
OK, now maybe, give me that. I’m going to give special (vegan) candy. Here, have this one. A little bit more. This one for other people. (OK.) (For all the kids.) Anymore (vegan) candy? You’re going…you’re coming? You stay long? (No.) No, you’re going tomorrow? (Yes.) Oh, why? Before, you always stay long. Anybody don’t have? Anybody have? You’re staying? Till how long? (Two more days to go.) Two more days? OK. Why not stay forever? Whoo-hoo! OK. Now… Special (vegan) candy. I don’t know, maybe. Here. Keep one for your hand. We have a few still. OK, there’s some special (vegan) candy. I don’t know if you need it, but maybe we do. And that guy behind there, the blue guy. White guy, snowflake. I gave you that? OK. (Yes, yes.) You go over there. You know where. You know where to go? (Yes, yes.) Take everybody. You want one? Today there will not be too many. Here you are. (Thank You.)
Today, look at you. Holiday makeup. Look at that. Sit there like nothing to do in the whole world. Here you are. (Thank You.) Here. That’s it, huh? What? (I can take if You want.) Oh, I can take it. It’s easier today, not too many people. Hallo. Taiwan (Formosa)? (Yes.) When are you leaving? (Next Monday.) OK. Next Monday. You’ve been staying here for so long. OK, no problem. Can you speak English? (A little bit.) (I can speak English.) Yes, you can. I don’t have too many today. Everybody’s gone out of my life. Small one… Alright then. Everybody else, take some. Where do you live? Taichung? (Taipei.) Taipei. (Thank You, Master.) Is your mother very well? (Very well.) Good. OK. That’s it. Thank you, guys. Thank you. Thank you for coming. See you later, (Thank You, Master.) tomorrow, if you’re here.
Guys, you don’t have candy? I thought you didn’t want it! Thanks for coming. (Thank You, Master.) (My children say they miss You too.) See you, guys. Take care. Oh! Did I give you (vegan) candy? (No.) Just go. You two. Go. You. Or sometimes you sit there, the snowflakes, I can’t see anything. Aulacese (Vietnamese)? (Yes.) Where are you from? Why did you come over here? Are those kids? Are you staying long? (I’m going home tomorrow.) Going home tomorrow? Oh. What are you going home for? (Thank You, Master.) (Thank You very much, Master.) Going home tomorrow? (Yes.) Why didn’t you go sit over there earlier? (I was afraid I wouldn’t make it back in time.) Not in time. OK. Take some more (vegan) candy. Oh, I gave her already? Here. Going home tomorrow, huh? See you, kids. Beautiful kids. See you. You’re still here? (Yes.) Is there anybody I forgot? Please take care. OK, guys? You're in my heart always. OK? Always here.
Photo Caption: “No Matter How Humble, You Are Unique, You Are Distinguished”
